.always thankful.

reading what faiz wrote, brought me back to the young me. saying thanks, hugs and kisses or buying gifts, spending time with them will never be enough compared to what parents have done and still doing for their children. ever. even if they say it is :) i might not run away from home, go out till late with my girl/boy friends, do drugs, pierce my nose or getting tattoos (or did i? muahahaha) but, i also went through a rebellious phase. a minor one, i think. the worst is not what i did through my actions but what came up inside my head. yeeesssszz....thatssszz evvvvvil. i'm sorry mak abah. 


let me share with you my childish and embarrassing secrets ;p


when i was fifteen, i got bored with my life routine. i remember stirring some sugar in the teapot, making tea for the umpteenth time and thought, if only i could be somewhere else and do something i've never done before.


when i was eighteen, i got worried about my looks. i badly hope that guys will look beyond that, sweep me off my feet and hey throw in some thoughts of having more that one guy falling head over heels for me. gatai sungguh.


when i was twenty-four, i wished hard that i could travel and work far from home. i've never been away from my parents, minus my short experience living in a hostel, and i did have an ambition of being a stewardess and secretary. they travel a lot right? stop that snickers la.


and i got everything i wished for and thought of without saying or sharing it with anybody. i went to a boarding school. guys started to pay more attention. i was posted to sabah. although all of these are short-lived (eh i'm still a head-turner...kan?), the point is, i got what i wished for. because Allah listens :)


i also wished for a happy and quirky family of my own. duh who doesn't? the family part i mean, not the quirky one. and bam! i have a husband, quirky and awesome in his own way. we're waiting for little bundles of joy coming our way. please pray for us. Allah...we're patiently waiting, still :)


and now...for i know, You listen to my every thought, forgive me for all the bad ones. i was and am weak. i am trying and always, to be better. please give me strength to; immediately perform my prayers, perform it well, pleasantly attend to my husband's needs, make my parents happy having me as their daughter and just being a better muslimah.


p/s: something knocks on my conscience again...i want to move that way. i hope i have the guts and support from loved ones :)

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thank you for reading!