.improper behavior.

assalamualaikum readers,

this entry had been a draft for a while now...i think you'll know why.

i’m tired of feeling inferior to people whom i think not deserving of my humility and respect. but this disturbing feeling creeps into my being every time i’m around some group of people. hence, i’ll become clumsy, insecure and make a fool of myself. and i hate that.

if it is their behavior that is bothering me, why should i feel lesser? i’m supposed to feel assured of my abilities and my opinions. like yakin diri, rakan muda! like berani kerana benar gitu. though i know i’m not always right but that does not make me wrong. get it? yeah, those people might have the same standpoint but it’s my stand that i’m worried about because it is exhausting to be against the current. wait. they are against my current too, right? so, they are confused and worried too?

i believe, one should always be reminded of our intentions. our niat. why are we doing this? how will this benefit me and others? are we here for fun or knowledge? to hang out with cliques or fulfill the responsibilities entrusted upon us?

some of you might ask, hey why can’t we have both? sure you can! but life is always about balance. kesederhanaan. wasatiah. too much fun in a day, will lead you astray. hey it rhymes! chup! hah, now i have exclusive right to that quote.

.juga contoh sikap tidak baik.

i’m not putting myself up on a pedestal. i’m just trying to encourage all of you out there to be modest, in everything you do. i admit that sometimes, in the hype of giddiness and enthusiasm, me myself is also guilty of the crime. therefore, a counsel is always welcome. be that in a human form or a text.

so here it is. i like being here doing my job. i don’t appreciate it that you condemn others in their time of weakness. i don’t like it when you touch your non-mahram, even in a harmless, joking manner. i don’t like it when you flirt when your husband/wife is loyal and clueless at home.

now, if only i have the courage to tell all that to their face. oh well……they might say it’s their prerogative. if they didn’t get the message, at least you have. thus, we could be better than this :)

so, the issue here is.....should i stay or should i go?

be firm, dear heart. be close to God.

p/s: please, if it needs to be done, feel free to knock me off the cloud so i could get my feet back on the ground too. *terbayang* huge splat on the ground with blood everywhere.

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thank you for reading!