.how i became an english teacher.

when i was seventeen, my english teacher (oh i forgot his name, may Allah bless his soul), suggested to my friend and i to further our studies in tesl and become english teachers. our response?

i knew that my friend and a few of his buddies embraced the idea of being a pilot or something that got to do with airplanes. me, myself had other inclination which i find awkward to share with you here. eheh. therefore, although we were both good in english (hence the suggestion) and adored the subject (still do!), we thought it was totally not cool to be teachers! surely we can’t say that to our teacher’s face, right? i haven’t seen this particular teacher since 2001 when SPM was over. if he knew the meaning behind our sheepish smiles, he will have the final laugh as since 2008, i am an english teacher.

i guess it’s an innate nature of females to nurture and develop others. who haven’t taken on the role as teachers when doing role-play with friends? or when daydreaming alone in your room while wearing high-heels, holding big files and walked here and there? *ehem* tipu la kalau tak pernah! or nag your husband to do that this way or the other? hehe. i have always love the idea of being a teacher and a part of it which is being with toddlers, kids, learners.

yeah, i know all about the negative views that our society has upon this profession. but i take it in stride as there is truth in what people are saying because that is how some teachers behave and carry out their work. as the saying goes, a rotten apple spoils the barrel. i believed that happens in every fields of work. it is up to us, individuals, to make a difference.

i understand that teaching is a noble job. i don't want to call it a burden because it's not. but the load is heavy, not work-wise but the responsibilities. you're molding minds and characters. these gullible, fresh minds could turn good or bad by your doings. and because of this, i often contemplate leaving the profession because i fear that i will fail my pupils. fail in nurturing and facilitating them to be a good person, a good son or daughter, a good muslim. am i a coward?

yes, i prefer the term facilitate than teaching because i believe that is what i'm doing and enjoy doing. i love interacting with young learners. i'm sad when they don't feel empathy. i'm excited by their silly questions. i'm crushed when they can't recall what we shared the day before. i'm happy when they say good morning and thank you.

my fear seems to linger still, after almost five years of teaching. i have yet to see my pupils' life achievement. but what faiz mentioned in his blog caught my attention. he said qaid is his saham for the afterlife (another one, insyaAllah is coming ^___^ tahniah faiz + yanie!). and you, my dear readers, know that i don't have any children yet. therefore, my saham now are my pupils. i hope they would still remember me after they leave school. that they would remember we read stories and made funny sounds, what they felt for the people that suffer tsunami and flash flood, how they learnt through songs, how to offer and accept friendship, how to say thank you and sorry, how to respect knowledge and thank Allah for it.

will they remember me and grace me with prayers when i'm gone?



p/s: faiz also mentioned that what he shares in his blog is also his saham. sangat setuju! :) will my readers be my saham too? did any of my writings benefit you and bring you good? and the title; i didn't actually answer the question, kan? ;p

.

.

.

thank you for reading!